I go back to the office tomorrow. Tomorrow! And, I have intense Sunday scaries about it.
Part of this is due to my overall anxiety/panic attack issues. I am a creature of routine. When that routine gets disrupted I get cranky and anxious. I like my routines. I really like the groove I developed while working from home. I created boundaries between work and life. I got daycare routines nailed down. I managed to get a nice mix of me/work/family time figured out. Heck - I even was able to fit in more exercise than I had in the months before the pandemic.
Now all of that is being upended.
My fear is not so much about work - I LOVE my job - but about everything else. My anxiety rears its head when I can't control things. In this kind of situation, there is so much that is out of my control. I can make plans, set a new routine, wear a mask, wash hands, and all that... but there is just so little else in my control. I can't control what our office looks like. I can't control the actions of the people around me (although I will most certainly remind them to wear a mask). I can't decide if/when we roll back reopening, change our hours, and handle whatever chaos is coming with our planned remodel. I can't control the emotions of everyone in a year when we all have compounding trauma.
Plus, there are a ton of unknowns. How many people will visit the library? Will our teaching/reference workload be more online or in-person? Will there be an on-campus outbreak? Will my daycare end up closing? Will? Will? Will?
I hate not knowing.
What I am doing is taking it one day at the time and giving myself as much time and patience as I am able. Everything is changing - but everything always changes. This is just a bigger change - but it's still just a day-by-day thing like any other.
How are you handling all the recent changes?