The Weekly Wrap: April 2, 2023

At work, we have an internal chat system. Think Slack but built into our library software. Since we're all working a hybrid schedule, this is the best way for us to stay together as a team. Our chat is a great place for water cooler stuff and to share things we should all know. Plus, it's a way for us to get into shenanigans of random conversations.

This week, we somehow fell into discussing Dungeons & Dragons alignment of librarians. I just cannot picture an evil librarian. We're all too eager to share things and do good.

But our conversation about what an evil librarian would do went as follows:

• Well, if there was an evil librarian, they would be lawful evil.
• A lawful evil academic librarian would change the stacks back to Dewey classification.
• A lawful evil public library librarian would create a collection of nothing but James Patterson novels and one Ann Coulter book.
• A chaotic evil librarian would overspend the subscription budget...
• ... on nothing by The New Yorker and National Geographic...
• ... print subscriptions...
• ... which they would then donate to other libraries.

I can't help but think, however, that there would still be some good or lawful traits in such a character. Sure they are chaotic evil, but I bet their own spell books and potions are clearly labeled and highly organized. The hijinks schedule of their demons is probably color coded and based on strengths. This librarian probably keeps statistics to see which evil deeds performed best.

I am now obsessed with the idea of creating a D&D character that is a chaotic evil librarian. Make them a bard and they'd probably be the worst character ever devised.

What's your alignment?

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• These biscuits look like a lot of work, but they also look delicious. [Noodle]
• What post-war package design was selling in Britain. [Vittles]
• An itinerary for an ordinary day. [Syllabus]
• Researching Oreo twisting. [Popsugar]
• Teams work better but only if they work right. [NYT - may be paywalled]
• How to clean laptop and computer screens. [Real Simple]
• "It’s a self-reinforcing problem: in order to dilute traffic, we dilute development, which intensifies traffic, which intensifies the desire to dilute development. Rinse, repeat: suburbia." [The Deleted Scenes]

• So that's why my office plant's leaves look yellow. [Life Kit]
• I have several issues with effective altruism. [The Indicator]
• Sounds like breadfruit is going to be pretty damn important. [Gastropod]
• The problem with baseball. [The Daily]
• Yes, you can indict a ham sandwich but I'm still smiling. [The Daily]

• I was randomly in the mood for a Chris Pine movie. We put on The Contractor. Pine plays a recently discharged military man who signs up for a contracting gig. Said gig, obviously, goes horribly wrong. This is part spy flick and part conspiracy. Pine, as usual, brings a lot more to the role than it probably deserves. At best, this is a gritty thriller, but it was enjoyable. [Amazon Prime]
• While the husband was in quarantine, he said he watched Nerve several times and thought that I might enjoy it. He was right. It's a movie whose narrative focuses around an underground social media app that gets teens to do increasingly dangerous dares for viewers. It gets a touch preachy and obvious towards the end, but it felt like something that could happen. I also enjoyed the stylized film making and editing. [Amazon Prime]
• Milwaukee Public Library bringing the funny. [@milwaukeepubliclibrary]

• The husband was craving deep dish pizza. So he made deep dish pizza. The crust ended up a bit thin in our 12-inch cast iron, but it was damn tasty. He used a sweet sausage, pepperoni, and pineapple as the toppings. So good! [Sally's Baking Recipes]
• For my lunch meal prep, I made four can pantry salad. I skipped the radicchio and swapped kalamata olives for black olives but otherwise followed the recipe. It was good but I was lazy and threw the arugula in at the beginning. It did not hold up in the fridge for day two and three. The flavor was there but the texture was not great. [kitchn]